They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:<\/p>\n
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
\n————————–
\nThe sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
\n————————–
\nLadies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
\n————————–
\nRemember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
\n————————–
\nDon’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
\n————————–
\nMiss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
\n————————–
\nFor those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
\n————————–
\nNext Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
\n————————–
\nIrving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
\n————————–
\nA bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
\n————————–
\nAt the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
\n————————–
\nEight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones..
\n————————–
\nScouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
\n————————–
\nPlease place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
\n————————–
\nThe church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
\n————————–
\nPotluck supper Sunday at\u00a05:00 PM\u00a0– prayer and medication to follow.
\n————————–
\nThe ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
\n————————–
\nThis evening at\u00a07 PM\u00a0there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
\n————————–
\nLadies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at\u00a010 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
\n————————–
\nThe pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
\n————————–
\nLow Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at\u00a07 PM. Please use the back door.
\n————————–
\nThe eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at\u00a07 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
\n————————–
\nWeight Watchers will meet at\u00a07 PM\u00a0at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
\n————————–
\nThe Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon … Continue reading