Men:<\/p>\n
1. Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.<\/p>\n
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O’Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.<\/p>\n
3. Open a beer and drink it.<\/p>\n
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.<\/p>\n
5. Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.<\/p>\n
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.<\/p>\n
7. Place drain pan under engine.<\/p>\n
8. Look for 13mm box end wrench.<\/p>\n
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.<\/p>\n
10. Unscrew drain plug.<\/p>\n
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on hand in the process.<\/p>\n
12. Clean up.<\/p>\n
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.<\/p>\n
14. Look for oil filter wrench.<\/p>\n
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it off.<\/p>\n
16. Beer.<\/p>\n
17. Buddy shows up. Finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.<\/p>\n
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car, dump in hole in back yard.<\/p>\n
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during steps 11, 15, & 18.<\/p>\n
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.<\/p>\n
21. Walk to 7-11 and buy beer.<\/p>\n
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.<\/p>\n
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.<\/p>\n
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.<\/p>\n
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. Pan is empty. Find drain plug in back yard hole.<\/p>\n
26. Hurry to replace drain plug as last drop of fresh oil drains onto floor.<\/p>\n
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.<\/p>\n
28. Bang head on bumper in reaction.<\/p>\n
29. Begin cussing fit.<\/p>\n
30. Throw wrench.<\/p>\n
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit snowblower.<\/p>\n
32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.<\/p>\n
33. Beer.<\/p>\n
34. Beer.<\/p>\n
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.<\/p>\n
36. Beer.<\/p>\n
37. Lower car from jack stands.<\/p>\n
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.<\/p>\n
39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 26.<\/p>\n
40. Drive car a quart low for 7000 miles when it’ll be time for another oil change.<\/p>\n
Women:<\/p>\n
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube 3000 miles after the last oil change.<\/p>\n
2. Drink a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n
3. Fifteen minutes later, write a check for $24.99 and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Men: 1. Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree. 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O’Reilly … Continue reading